"I paint heads. Self-portraits. My hands help me transform my emotions on the canvas. My language."Sometimes an awful lot happens in a head and no one knows, except you, what's going on there. It can be dark, scary, filled with fears and doubts, obstacles and everything I think is human. Last months I was in a dark place and that was very scary. It was dark in my head and it felt like an explosion of all my fears.
At that time I painted a portrait every day. My paintings reflect feelings like panic attacks, fear, anxiety, insecurities and all mixed emotions. Slowly the paintings become less whimsical and more vague. A person appears in the painting. That person is me.
Creativity saved me and helped me deal with my anger and aggression about the whole situation and I can slowly accept who I am. I want to show the world that you don't have to be ashamed of a mental illness and I hope to break taboos. It makes me vulnerable and I think that's a good thing. I want to make the invisible visible.
Welcome to my mental journey and let's start a dialogue.
More about Mariken
Mariken Heijwegen is a born maker. As a child she drew and painted a lot and made Barbie clothes from old socks. She graduated from fashion academy and at the art academy. She then traveled the world as a stylist. She designed clothing for the fashion era and made new, striking creations from existing clothing. Had in this they have a clear signature. For example, she made clothes from an English flag for a Rimmel campaign.
After a while, Heijwegen decided to leave the fashion industry behind. She went on to teach art at a high school. She has been doing this for twelve years now and is learning
they students to reach their feelings through art. She is also a lecturer in Fashion and Design at the KABK in The Hague, where she once studied herself. Next to it
teaching, Heijwegen continued to paint over the years.
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